Travel Adventures; The loss of my ovaries; Pre-Op

February 21st and 22nd 2018

My mom and I set out late in the evening of the 21st for TX. There are no nice flights out of Montana and it seemed it was butt crack of dawn or middle of the night.  We chose late which later we learned would be a mistake.

When we arrived at midnight at DFW in TX, it was threatening to be freezing rain or snow and people were freaking out.  By the time we got our bags and took the bus to the rental car station we learned that all the budget employees went home in fear of the storm.  But that we could go wait in the very long Avis line, who had 1 customer service rep.....It was late, we were exhausted and hungry.  After nearly 2 hours of waiting in line we were finally given a car. 

In the dark and pouring rain that was on the verge of freezing we made our way to the hotel. We had trouble figuring out the car headlights, the GPS decided to have us avoid tolls and it was an utter disaster. But we finally got there.  Since I would be having to do liquid diet and bowel prep that day we decided to run for a bite to eat. But the only thing we could find nearby open at 3 am was a Jack in the Box in a sketch location....We finally got to bed about 4 am and had to be up for a 9 am Pre-Op Appointment.  We were exhausted.

The next morning it is pouring rain and we couldn't figure out how to get to the front entrance of the office building so we climbed the steep back steps up the hillside. So we get to the pre-op appointment and find I was supposed to have had a full bladder for u/s.  Nobody told me and but the very nice radiologist just worked with it.  On the U/S she clearly noted that both sides of my pelvis were not moving, along with the center as well. Looked like things were all glued together, she showed me on u/s. She would push on my belly while looking with the u/s wand and it was quite visible.  My left ovary was nearly impossible to find but she finally found it. What a relief I thought to myself, I at least had some adhesions I thought, it wouldn't be a wasted trip if nothing else was wrong.  At the same time I wondered why no other radiologists or doctors had thought to check for adhesions which were clearly visible on U/S.

Then it was into Dr. Dulemba's office where we met him to go over everything.  Our visit lasted almost 4 hours. We went over all the details of my issues, treatment plan and everything endo related.  It was so reassuring to know I was in good hands.  My mom was re assured as well.  Dr. Dulemba is very personable, has a sense of humor with some sarcasm but very very knowledgeable about endometriosis and he isn't afraid to go against other doctors who's interest lies in drug companies or failing treatments.

During the treatment planning he pulled out the u/s report to go over it. We had already discussed removing ovaries as they seemed to be a source of pain for me, I did not take this decision lightly and we talked about it a lot.  I was secretly hoping that he would find another cause for the pain for my ovaries and that I could keep them. Because facing surgical menopause with PCOS and Endometriosis was scary stuff.  He said, from what we can see on the ultrasound you egg supply is gone and your ovaries are atrophying, you are already headed into or are in menopause.  I wanted to burst out into tears, seriously.  I couldn't believe it.  Yes I was considering having them removed, but finding out they were dying and dead was somehow completely horrifying.  The realization of menopause seemed horrifying at the age of 38. 

Why???? Why were they dead??? I had been having some hotflashes and mood swings the past few months but nothing I thought was menopause. Although my mom looked at me and said "this makes perfect sense for how you have been feeling." Dr. Dulemba's personal thought is that when you take the tubes and leave the ovaries (my hysterectomy and tube removal was about 6 months ago) they are part of the ovary and share a blood supply. He feels that taking just the tubes can contribute to the ovarian failure when that blood supply is cut off.  Like I said, he thinks outside the box. I feel like surgeons always encourage taking the tubes as that is where they believe much of ovarian cancer begins. But I was never told there was a risk to it during my first surgery. Here is an article on that https://academic.oup.com/humrep/article/18/10/2175/622722.  So it was decided the ovaries would be removed.

I got my prescription for my pain meds and we headed to the hospital to get all registered.  This is where we made a big mistake. We thought it was just going to be a little blood work and then we would go eat.  Nope lots of paperwork, bloodwork, and surgical counseling.  By the time I got done with it all both Mom and I were exhausted, hungry and emotional. Fluctuating between tears and hanger (hungry anger). It didn't help it was still pouring rain and cold! We had skipped breakfast to catch a little more sleep not realizing how long our day was going to be.  Well I was on liquid diet, but my support system was hungry.  The hospital staff was amazing and kind though and we appreciated their smiling faces. Ryann with the surgical counseling was super sweet and helpful.

So we ran to walmart to get my prescription filled and got some food for Mom and my other bowel prep medicine. Then went back to the hotel and crashed! Awake long enough to do the bowel prep, YUCK, and have a video chat with my sweet kids and husband. I had to report to the hospital for surgery at 6 am.  Thankfully the hotel was quiet and the beds were super soft and comfy and despite nerves for surgery I actually slept.